You can call me Mom, or Nicole, or whatever

This past weekend Brandon and I took three of our kids and my niece down to a nearby river. It was one of the few beautiful days in Oregon and we wanted to get out of the house. While walking to the river a man passed by us with his dog and struck up a coversation. In the end he called Brandon, Dad, to my son Hayden, who just stood there not knowing what to say. This keeps happening in our house. Even though our kids are not all related we do all resemble each other. When people find out that we are a blended family they try to guess which of us is related to whom. So far, no one has gotten it right. I am often referred to as "Mom" when I'm with Chelsea and she always just looks at me like, "Does this person mean you or my actual Mom?" While it's no big deal to Brandon or I if the kids call us Dad, Mom, or our names it does seem to catch our kids off guard.  I wonder if there is a solution to this problem or if it is just something you deal with until the kids get comfortable?

I was too tired to think...

There are a million awesome reasons to raise a huge family. You always have someone to talk to even if the extent of the conversation goes to Spongebob. You are never allowed to sit down for more than five minutes, which means getting in shape (even to write this blog every morning I get up and walk away from the computer at least three times!). You also learn how to multi-task like no other. Ever tried to talk on the phone, while making lunch, while fixing a boo boo on someone's knee? Ever done it with four kids at the same time? It really does have perks. I get 6 hugs and kisses at night. I get to help 4 of the kids with homework every day, which I love doing! Sometimes though when taking care of this many people I forget the most important person in this group...myself.

With the crazy past few weeks I've had, I have been leaving myself out. The other day without warning, I broke down into tears. I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Sounds a little weird, but spending my whole day caring for other people started bogging me down. I went to see my doctor to make sure I just wasn't catching the flu my kids had. When talking to him I realized that I had not had a good night's sleep in almost two weeks and I had not eating a healthy meal in about that long too. To make things worse, I know I have a gluten allergy and was not eating gluten free. I was just eating the leftovers from my kids. Worst of all I wasn't drinking any water. With a very long talk with my provider I realized that while I love my family if I'm not taking care of myself, my ability to care for them falls short. My doctor even told me a story of a little boy who's mom fed him broccolli three times a week and had a mental disability. After the mom took the boy to a food allergist they found out he was allergic to broccolli. When broccolli was removed from his diet the disability he had vanished. This is of course a very extreme case but look at what happens when you don't take care of your body?
Needless to say, I am eating gluten free again along with dairy free (apparently that is an issue for me too). I am drinking a ton of water and was given something to help me sleep for a couple of weeks to get back to where I need to be. Soon I should be out on the road running again. I used to feel so selfish doing things for myself but it turns out it isn't as selfish as I thought. It's simply what I need to make it through the day.

So, as I sit here drinking my soymilk coffee and eating my fruit and nuts for breakfast (feeling tons better!) I need to remember to start making myself a priority above all else.

Happy Mother's Day!

Yesterday Hayden, he is six, asked me how many years old I was. I responded with 27. He looks at me for a second, thinking, and says, "Wow, you are almost to 100!" I say, "Almost 100?" He says, "Yeah, first you are 99 and then 100." Now, I know that in their kindergarten class they have only learned to count to one hundred so I ask him, "What happens after 100?" His answer, "Your dead."


Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there especially my Mom, Stepmom, and two Grandmother's. I hope your day is going well.

The week from...well, you know

A bad week in any family can feel like an eternity. It can ruin your mood and make you feel like it will never end. When you are blending a family of eight it not only ruins your mood it makes you wonder how you can go on at all.

 Last week started off like any other. Way too packed, but a realistic week of mine. Brandon and I have been in conflict with one of our kids' other parents. For the sake of the blog we will call her M. It will have to be another blog that explains the argument but lets just say it isn't a fun argument to be having. In the middle of dealing with her, Mason came down with the flu. It's really hard to have a sick kid in a home and even harder when you have five healthy kids that don't slow down just because one is under the weather.  In between bouts of cleaning up after my little one I was trying to disinfect the house so that no one else gets sick. The only thing worse than having a sick kid is having six sick kids! So, I have angry phone calls and home drop ins going on. I'm following my preschooler around the house with a bucket and a handful of towels. What else could go wrong? I know! My washing machine could break down! Now, if I lived by myself this would be no big deal. Just go out and wash my clothes at a laundromat, but in a family of eight this is dentramental. I usually run about six loads of laundry a day so every day that I go without a washing machine is twice the amount of laundry the next day.

In the middle of all of the chaos in my home, we went for a drive. And of course, our suv broke down. When this happened I had three of the kids with me, our family dog, and thankfully Brandon. Had it not been for him I would have lost it completely. This was my worst nightmare. Being stuck on a freeway with children and no phone. We decided to get out and walk to the nearest super market to call my Mom and have her come pick us up. After having the truck towed back to our house and having it looked at we found out the engine was dead. Again, if it had just been me it would've been no big deal. I have another car. But it's just that, a car. Where was I going to put eight people in a car that only holds five safely?

 It's now Thursday of the next week. I have a brand new washer and dryer in my laundry room and a new truck in the driveway. Crisis averted except while all of this was going on I managed to catch the flu. Just my luck.....

Welcome!

Welcome to A Blended Family Project! I have decided to write this blog because it seems as though my family and I are trying something that I haven't seen or heard about. Blending families is so new that even when I tried to research the information online the only thing I found was that it is nearly impossible to do and almost everyone ends up divorced again. Not thrilled with this advice, I'm hoping that by writing about our daily lives and the problems we face on a regular basis will help people to understand our lives a little better and help me to communicate with others out there just like me who might have better advice then to get a good lawyer.


I might as well start at the beginning....Brandon and I met each other at work, both of us in relationships at the time. I was married, he was dating someone, but neither of us were happy in our current situations. What started as a normal work relationship quickly evolved into a true friendship. It wasn't until I came to work one day and told him that I had left my husband a few weeks earlier, that I discovered he had done the same with his girlfriend. It would be too fairy tale like to say the stars aligned and we knew we were meant to be but with the realization that we both were going through the same thing made it very easy to connect with each other.

Fast forward almost two years later and here were are. Living together with our six kids. Yes, six! I have two, Hayden and Mason. He has four, Austin, Andrew, Aiden, and Chelsea. Needless to say our lives have changed drastically in the past two years. Mostly for the best, but there are a few hitches we have ran into along the way. Things that will surely make it into this blog.  Brandon and I are set to marry this July, and we are still working on getting this family on one page. Our problems don't only come from us. There are other parents, grandparents, and friends involved in making this family what it is. Some good and some bad, but that will have to be for another post....